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A ‘flow’ practice for sex, love and relationships


OM offers us the ingredients for creating a ‘flow’ practice for sex, love and relationships, which in turn, can lead to the experience of enjoyment and fulfilment in connection.

The structure of the practice provides a template that includes how we can expand our attention and receptivity to sensation, as well as, for how we can build a strong relationship with reality and communicate our experience.

To experience flow in relationship, OM teaches that we must become willing to move beyond the immature habitual responses that make us reactive instead of responsive. We are instead invited to develop a grounded perspective comprised of practices, feedback mechanisms, and methods, that can pull us towards higher standards of relating.

Staying Connected No Matter What

The template we are offered through OM for developing a flow practice for sex, love, and relationships is first built from a commitment to stay connected no matter what. Part and parcel of this commitment is a willingness to work with the fears and rigid patterns that arise when relating to others.


We acquaint ourselves with the things that send us into fight, flight or freeze mode and give up self-protection as our default mode of being. We shift the compass of our attention from preserving our egos to growing, expanding, and cultivating true freedom.


Staying connected no matter what, also asks us to examine our knee-jerk reactions or preferences, and open up to having them supplanted by our deep-seated desires. This way we discover, that it is in fact desire, that enables fully-realised relationship.


Tapping into flow

We can only experience flow in relating when we stop avoiding the fact that our conflicts and dissatisfaction in relationships come from reactivated old wounds from our past. Becoming aware of our unconscious behaviours, the stories and scripts we play out over and over again, and how we project our inner reality onto others can be painful work, but until we do it, there is no escape from the groundhog day replay of our childhood tragedies - and therefore the experience of relationships as unsatisfactory.


Creating a flow practice for our sex, love, and relationships requires that we dispense with blame and pointing the finger outwards and allow our connections to become mirrors of the places in us that need healing and want to grow. Allowing OM to enhance our attention and therefore our ability to see the thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and perceptions that distort our reality, we commit to being honest and authentic in our communication with ourselves and others.


Flow means that having had the experience in an OM of the synergy that arises in connection with another, we learn to trust that whatever arises in relationship is an accurate and trustworthy guide, that if we let it, can be one of our most powerful teachers!


Reading from the Wednesday 17th June International iOM meeting

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