When people first hear the words orgasmic and meditation together, there is understandably some confusion, before what it is an almost automatic assumption that sex is involved. This assumption also makes sense perhaps, as in our culture, ‘orgasm’ and sex are considered to be inextricably connected. Those who go on to research what Orgasmic Meditation (OM) actually is therefore, are often looking for better sex, deeper intimacy, or a cure for a range of sexual issues including but not limited to a lack of desire, erectile dysfunction or the inability to have an “orgasm.”
The initial discovery that OM is closer to meditation than it is to sex can sometimes be met with a bit of disappointment even if the desire to try the practice remains. It is only by making OM a practice that its true relationship to sex is revealed. The founder of OM, Nicole Daedone, called OM ‘slow sex’ for a reason and described it as sex stripped of almost everything apart from sensation. Free of a range of misinterpretations and accumulated ideas of what we think sex is, Daedone maintained, OM means men and women can go back to connecting physically with one another without any expectation of what it should look and feel like. From there, sexual partners can consciously bring back the elements they find the most pleasurable.
Orgasmic meditation brings consciousness to sex by first redefining what orgasm even is. First-time 'OMers' learn that far from being the peak of a sexual experience, orgasm is just about everything in-between and could be better described as one’s capacity to give and receive pleasure. They also learn that the model of sex most of us were taught is masculine in its approach or goal-driven but that there is also a feminine perspective, the absence of which, has left many of us feeling far from fulfilled.
Slowing us down enough to feel both our bodies and our desire again, OM takes sexual intimacy back to basics and replaces it “with what feels good and right and pleasurable.”