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Asking for what we want

Our OM practice can teach us a lot about how to communicate and ask for the desires we have that include other people. In fact, we consider OM to be a doorway to desire because as we begin to feel more sensation in our bodies, more of what we really want begins to rise to the surface.


We initially meet this awakening of desire in OM at the subtlest levels. Do we want a stroke to the right or to the left? Does more or less pressure feel more resonant?


This is also how we begin to build our relationships with desire generally. Meeting the smallest of them with acknowledgement and the willingness to give it to ourselves - a glass of cool water with lemon, a soak in the tub, a nap in the middle of the afternoon.


OM not only makes us aware of and responsible for what we want, however, but also provides a template for communicating our desires to others.


Acknowledging our desire - Every OM starts with asking and this is an acknowledgement of desire.


We recognise the vulnerability involved in both exposing and admitting our desire and learn to meet the accompanying sensations/emotions, as well as, requests from others with compassion.





Working with our emotions - We often think that asking for an OM should be as easy as asking for a cup of tea and are surprised by how common it is for fear and judgements to arise.

We might experience the fear of rejection, the fear of being too much, as well as, the anxiety of anticipating how the other person is going to answer.


We learn to recognise too that in asking for an OM, we don’t only experience the fear of a “no,” but that we are often also scared of the other person saying “yes,” and us actually having what we want!


Being specific and direct - When we ask for an OM, we do so in a clean, clear way.


We don’t mix requests and we ask in such a way that our request can be answered with a direct “yes,” or “no, thank you.”


We practice remembering that a “no” is to the request and is for now, and that we can always ask again in the future.



To keep our requests clean and clear when it comes to OM, we ensure that when we ask for an OM, it is in fact what we want.


We do this by learning to connect to the quality of experience our desires point us in the direction of.


We realise that there is something we are wanting to experience in every one of our objects of desire. Whether it’s connection, intimacy, relaxation, or adventure, we acknowledge and take responsibility for asking for precisely what we want!


Reading from Wednesday July 29th International iOM meeting

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